19
Jan
12

Mental Confusion


It’s been a while since I had my mind, not that anyone missed my blogging.  I really am just writing to myself.  Seems I have too small of a life.  Cooped up at home with two teenaged boys, and a wife who is reversing the clock.

Mental PainYes, my opinions are my own, and I’m writing them here in this small space to get them out of my head.

Most recently, I’ve been suffering from a phase of “What the hell do I do next.”  This is a syndrome for adults who are beginning to question the reasons they are where they are.  Like wtf, as my youngest would say.

Now I love my family, but routines begin to wear me down mentally.  The ruts, they are the ruts, are the ruts … That disc gets old, and so does a career when you’ve climbed no further than yesterday each day you go to work.  Nothing new really, nothing exciting.

You see it all started when I realized my career was over.

So I found out when I decided to interview for some jobs.  Yes, there are jobs out there to apply for.  But my middle-aged self realized when told “you are over-qualified,” that I was really too old.

Retirement is just to far out of reach, too.  What I would do if I could retire is to write.  I illustrate and write music too, but for now that paycheck  keeps a roof over my head.

Do you escape?  I have, and I’ve realized that escape doesn’t work.  I don’t do drugs or alcohol, and I don’t cheat on the wife — I don’t need the added emotional strain of trying to build another long-term relationship, and besides she is moving forward, ever it be so slowly.

So blogging and writing is what I must return too.  Not that my voice is significant in the sea of internet confusion.  But, blogging releases within me a better sense of who and what I am to me.  Brings clarity, don’t you think?

Change what you think to change your world!

_________________________________________

The art on this piece came from: http://mirrorimageart.blogspot.com

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